


confessions upon the sand

by revengeavenue



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Beaches, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, M/M, they are soft and cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-09-17 19:45:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9340358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/revengeavenue/pseuds/revengeavenue
Summary: Phil was ready to burst into tears - the entire situation was much too stressful for the revealing of any information, but he did so anyway. "Because I'm in love with you. There, are you happy now?"





	

There had been shouting - loud voices exchanged within the space that wasn't their own. Typically, hotel rooms would be a place for them to wind down after performances, but such was not the case that night. A conversation turned out all wrong, a miscommunication perhaps; it tore everything apart piece by piece, and shattered remains were along the unfamiliar patterned carpet.

The moon was full that night, casting shadows upon the palm trees visible from the parking lot. They were so far from home, and perhaps that made everything much worse. They both ached for the familiarity of their own apartment, and city in general, not the disorienting appearance of an unfamiliar place. Everything was new and strange.

Dan had felt the pangs of nervousness all night, even during their performance. Phil was quite distant, somehow, and he couldn't seem to figure out the reason why. Perhaps he was just worn out, too tired to converse with his best friend like usual, but slowly, Dan realized that Phil had never acted like that before. He started to blame himself, and as the silence and untypical awkwardness escalated between them, Dan burst.

"What's the matter with you, Phil?" he found himself asking, wincing slightly at the sudden harshness of his voice against the quiet aura of the room.

Phil looked up from his phone - he was sitting on the other hotel bed, looking uncomfortable and uneasy after hearing Dan's words. "Nothing... why do you ask?"

Dan felt the pressure rising in his chest, felt it coming down on him. "You've been... _distant_ all day long. I just wanna know if something's up," Dan said, voice noticeably softer this time. He wasn't looking to scare Phil off, not at all.

Phil looked white as a ghost, almost guilty. "I haven't, I don't know where you got that from."

"Phil, you hardly said two words to me after we got off stage. You're... you're usually hyped up on adrenaline, not cold like this. Talk to me, please," Dan pleaded, as he made his way over to Phil's bed and sat down next to him.

Dan's eyes were warm, and in the dark light of the room, looked quite beautiful. Phil could see the concern and worry on his face, and it broke his heart quite a bit. He knew that Dan could see past his bullshit, yet he didn't want to tell him the reason why he was acting like he was. He was simply too afraid.

Phil looked at him in the eyes - the moments frozen with the contact. That was until Dan reached his hand out and set it atop Phil's hand; it was then that everything seemed to go downhill, and fast.

Almost instantly, Phil pulled his own hand back, as if he touched something that could potentially burn his skin. He couldn't let Dan touch him like that, not when he felt like he did. "Please, don't do this," Phil spoke coldly.

"Do what?" Dan's heart started to beat erratically, as if his body knew that things were spiraling out of control. Perhaps they were.

Phil got up off the bed, feeling smothered by Dan and his questions. He needed to get out. "Touch me... I just... I can't be here right now."

"Phil, what are you talking about?"

That was when voices were raised. "I need to go, _now_. You're-"

Dan didn't let him finish. "I'm what?"

Phil was panicking, because Dan was coming so close to finding out what Phil had tried to desperately hide from him since the day they met. "You're smothering me, Dan. Just leave me alone, alright?"

"Wait, Phil... why? What's going on?" Dan got up from the bed, and went after Phil, who was inching towards the hotel room door. "Don't go, please."

"I can't be near you right now, I just _can't_."

Dan stayed quiet for a second, until he couldn't take it anymore. "Why not? Can't you just tell me?"

Phil was ready to burst into tears - the entire situation was much too stressful for the revealing of any information, but he did so anyway. "Because I'm in _love_ with you. There, are you happy now?"

With that, he rushed to the door and slipped out of it, and into the corridor. He exited the short hallway and ventured into the humid Florida air, walking briskly as his heart went haywire in his chest. Phil didn't expect to admit such a thing, especially in the way that he did, though it had happened - there was no taking it back. That thought itself was unsettling, because he didn't get the chance to look at Dan's reaction before he fled.

The aftershock of everything started to hit him as his feet met with the sidewalk outside of the hotel. His thoughts seemed to fizzle, begging for his immediate attention. His limbs felt a bit numb, though he kept walking anyway. Soon enough, Phil was a handful of blocks away from the hotel. He was fading in and out of himself, his mind a mess with thoughts and fleeting feelings. Perhaps he didn't really love Dan like he said he did.

But feeling the way that he felt couldn't possibly be described in any other way, he reckoned. Phil had never felt the same about another person in his entire life, so maybe it was love after all. He wanted so desperately for their relationship to be more romantic than platonic; he wanted to kiss Dan in the worst way. Sometimes Phil imagined it, and just the thought caused a sinking feeling to spread from his head to his toes.

He could hear the crashing waves of the ocean, so he figured he'd go there to pass some time, and perhaps sort his thoughts out. On the way, he passed neon signs that glowed vibrantly in the night air. Phil thought about taking a picture of a palm tree sign, but he soon realized that he didn't bring his phone with him. Although it occurred to him that he didn't know his way around, and he had no way of contacting Dan, or anyone for that matter: he kept walking towards the dark shore.

Phil felt as though his mind was endlessly messy, because what had just happened between them was confusing and stressful. He had to think of something to say to Dan - they would have to see each other again, and soon. He knew that things might be weird after what he had admitted, which was something that Phil didn't want to think about in depth. It would cause so much pain.

Before he reached the sand, he slipped his shoes off and began to carry them. The feeling of the sand between his toes was relaxing: it was a bit cold from not being in the sun for a few hours. He thought about all the tiny particles it took to make a beach full of soft sand, and it really put everything into perspective. His problems seemed so much larger than the grains of sand he was walking upon.

It was quite dark at the beach, thus Phil couldn't see very well; the waves looked black in the low amount of light. The moon offered some light, but not enough. He watched as the lights from a ship in the distance slowly appeared, then disappeared over the horizon once more.

He took a few more steps, until the waves were softly gliding over his feet. The water was lukewarm, so he stepped even further. Phil was lost in the sound of the waves crashing and receding, so much so that he didn't notice the sound of Dan trudging through the sand behind him.

"Phil?" Dan called out, fumbling in his pocket for his phone to use as a flashlight. As he got closer, he could tell that it was definitely him.

Phil panicked, turning around so quickly that he felt dizzy. He saw a light turn on, which revealed that it was exactly who he thought it would be. "Dan?"

There was silence for a couple seconds, although the ocean erased all awkwardness.

Phil stepped out of the water and stood in front of Dan. "You... you came looking for me. Didn't I mess everything up between us?" he asked, confused.

"Of course not," Dan replied, stepping even closer to Phil - their chests were nearly touching. His eyes met with Phil's in the dark, and their breaths mixed together. "Don't you get it?" he asked, his voice sensual and delicate.

Phil swallowed, throat suddenly feeling quite dry. He opened his mouth to speak, but Dan leaned in and pressed his lips onto his own, and words seemed insignificant once that occurred. Phil could hardly process what was happening, although he began to kiss back almost immediately, as if it was the only thing he remembered how to do. At that moment in time, it seemed like he waited for it to happen all his life. It meant so much.

Dan was the one to pull away, and his chest felt like liquid. In fact, his entire body felt that way. He could feel the heat of Phil's cheeks upon his own; he kept the closeness in tact even after they pulled apart from the kiss.

"You... feel the same?" Phil could hardly will himself to speak, he was so shocked. The crashing of the waves sounded behind them, making everything feel much more surreal. It brought him back down to earth.

Dan smiled, "I do. Guess you didn't expect it, did you?"

"Not in a million years," Phil replied. He hesitantly placed his hands on Dan's hips, pulling him closer until their bodies were flush against each other again.

"How long?"

"How long what?"

Dan sighed. "How long has it been since you realized you were in love with me?"

Phil thought for a moment, looking up at the dull stars in the sky. "A couple years, give or take. God, I wish I would've said something sooner."

"Me too," Dan countered. "We've been living like best friends, when we could've been best friends and boyfriends at the same time."

Phil took a deep breath. "Let's not waste any more time, alright?"

-

That night, they shared one hotel bed, instead of splitting off into separate ones like they normally would. After all, that would be foolish, given what they just confessed to one another. White sheets were wrapped around them, and they were in each other's arms; warmth spreading from head to toe. Soft sighs tickled skin, and Dan couldn't wipe the grin off his face. Perhaps it was fine that way.

They left the window open, and if they listened hard enough, they could hear the ocean hurling sea water onto the shore, and taking it back once more. It sounded quite like static from that distance, but it was still lovely all the same. A cool breeze drifted through every now and then, helping to create the most calming atmosphere. The room was dark, all for except the glowing moonlight in the distance that gave off a small amount of light. That light danced upon Dan's face, casting shadows in all the right places.

To put it simply, Phil was enamored with the moment. He didn't want to sleep, because he didn't want to miss anything. It had been such a long time since he last felt that way.

"I'm getting tired, but I don't want to sleep," Phil spoke against the fluffy pillow. His eyes met Dan's, and it seemed that he was wide awake.

Dan reached out to touch Phil's face. "Why not?"

"Because... things are better now. I don't want to waste time sleeping when I can spend it with _you_ instead." Phil leaned into the touch, smiling.

"I'll be here when you wake up, I promise. I'm a little tired as well." Dan couldn't believe Phil sometimes, he was truly something.

Dan leaned in and pressed a kiss to Phil's lips for the last time until slumber pulled them both under. They stayed tangled together through the night, and it felt wondrously beautiful to be so close to one another finally. Although it seemed like they would lose everything earlier in the night, they ended it with much more than they both dreamed of having.


End file.
